Sunday, September 21, 2008

"Big Cheese" lays the tracks and laces the flow.

No Nick is not capable of balancing a budget. He has no say in this matter. Food, no food. Cheese sandwiches yes. No more cheese sandwiches. Milk with those sandwiches? No Milk or sandwiches. Muffins yes, no. $10.00 tab. No wait, $20.00 limit. No limit at all. What? Hot cheese sandwiches for all. No cheese, no milk. Everyone gets a full meal. Nobody eats at all. Lunch on a tray. Tray dumped in garbage. Kids don't cry, give cake. No desert until finish cheese sandwich. Cheese sandwich with mayo. Mayo expiration date gone. You eat anyway, cuz Barb says.

Wieners in a bun. Wieners not healthy. Juice only! 6 oz. too much. 4 oz. from here on out. Bakers, no bakers. Candy and pop okay ‘til lunch. Don't leave school grounds to eat AM/PM. We have cinnamon rolls. Rolls unhealthy, staff lunch 5 bones. Lunch over before served. Eat snack. No crackers, water only. Not our water so much, but your water from home. Every child fed full lunch unless you want cheese and grapes only. Grapes from Brazil. Salmonella inevitable. Wash hands. No soap. Sanitizer, you supply. Me broke. Free and reduced. No biggie, you qualify. Not you, dump your tray. Get back in line for cheese sandwich. Upset, which line? Too late get to class. Eat a snack from home but not that. Put that away. Raise hand for lunch, wrong hand, no lunch.

No child left behind. Get behind that child! IOU. UO ME. No IOU. $225,000.00 in debt. No debt. General fund covers. Self supporting. Can't support self. Bail us out. Out with plastic. Paper only, but don't throw it here. Marla recycle. Marla repsycho. Paper, wood, plastic? Blue can, one only. No time to pick up. Just dump all in dumpster. Forget recycle. PR stunt only. Parents quiet. Dump leftovers quietly. Don't ask, don't tell. Tell teacher you’re hungry. No snack, almost lunch. Drink some water. Shhhh! in line. You step out. You too. Do you have money? Not for lunch, but yes for ice cream. Ice cream fattening, so is food service director. Lead by example, but not that one. Do as you’re told. I don't care if you’re starving. Tell your folks to feed you at home. But I'm free. Nothing’s free. Get a job. Can I work here? Yeah but we don't pay well. Get back in line.

Superintendent has all the money. Ask for loan from him. Don't bother, He's at meeting on free and reduced. All are fed. FS bankrupt. Poor Sara, poor poor pitiful me. Barb out. Never was in. Kitchens on fire. Guns a blazin. Barb’s hiding. Damage control, spin story. Once Debbie Jakala, now Debbie Joyce Jakala, soon to be DJ. How cool. Kids still hungry. You no help. We're the best. Or we were. Oh well. Faulty land deals, rob kids. Skin and bones. Cancel PE. No energy. Take nap. Wake up hungry. Salaries through the roof. Sky falling. Kids pay hell. Give Hell to lunch lady. Breakfast a go. Go to breakfast. Hurry to class. Toss juice. Wipe up mess. Not his and not with that. Sell entertainment guide to pay for lunch. Lunch sux. Poor nutrition. Falling asleep in class. So is custodian. Fire the guy, but give him free lunch. Bring in sub. Cheap labor so give extra lunch tray.

Espresso machine a must. ESC high on hog. kids hog food. Life or death. BBQ pork ribs. MLE. Where are Taquitos? What's that? Never mind. Grilled cheese. Not too hot. Burned Law suit. What country and what for? USA, not today. Shut mouth, open mouth. Take bite. Be kind. Gotta go, maybe more. Oh wait, in news. PI, Times, KING 5, high 5, too slow. Don't cry, wonder why. Bad home, Nick is worse. Nowhere to go. Well get in line. Leave tray, food in hand, bird in hand, Ferdinand. Eat on time. But not on my time. I'm too good. I make bank. F U all, no need to thank. CUZ I AM NICK! Don't get sick. Cuz you'll need more food that we don't have. Well yes we have but not to share. Kids suck. Have a good weekend. Eat well or starve in hell. Hell ain't a bad place to be. ESD is. What to to do? Protest! Can't do, contract says. Wake up Matt. Are you hungry too? sausage biscuit. Limp Bizkit. Fred Durst. Second Coming. Drop dead Fred. Food revives. Our food kills. Hire consultant, then therapist.

Hold hands. Then wash. Then eat. But hurry, cuz it is of no importance. Give a rats ass. No they don't. Rats for food, maybe good! My name is Nick. Use a map. Can't find it with two hands in the dark. Roadblock to brain. Can't think. Must be hungry. Go to EWH for more free food. Already in dumpster. Resign, retire, remorse, reimburse renegotiate bad contract. Oh my gosh, rehab. Don't. Do. Yes. No. Wait. Go. Stop. Alright. Hold it. Now’s the time. Pull trigger, shoot from hip. Shoot hip, L&I. Stay home. No cook. Back to ESD for free muffin. Chocolate chip, no way. Pay as go. Pay as like. No pay. Big payday! $200,000.00 Clean up after me. I'm a slob. Mind the mess. P's and Q's. In at 9, home by 2.

Original Lyrics by "Big Cheese"

Blog: The moderator of this blog has never attended any Big Cheese concerts and there are currently no Big Cheese songs on the moderator's iPod.


Anonymous said...

Wow! As a friend I would say the writer of this entry really needs a long vacation on a soothing south Pacific island! The entry was very entertaining and creative, but I'm worried about the writer. Maybe you could get a "sabbatical leave". Oh that's right, they don't exist anymore.

Anonymous said...

Love it! I forgot my lunch the other day and paid the 5 bucks for a dry chicken sandwich and a bag of Fritos...teachers no time to go out, barely time to pee...between reminding kids to turn in their free/reduced paperwork so they don't go hungry! Oh and if you're a big kid...later lunch...they run out of food! And still charge the full price.

Anonymous said...

I was just at Fred Meyer and I decided to spend a few minutes and see what it would cost to buy the ingredients for a lunch for a youngster. (My own children are now in their 30's).
Here's what I came up with:
apple 50cents; 2 cubes of real cheese 50cents; sandwich baggie of those tiny carrots 35cents; 1 piece of healthy bread 30cents; 1 tablespoon of peanut butter on that bread 25cents; 1 Twinkie (not a package of 2 of them)60cents. Grand total $2.50 (then you would buy milk at the school for an additional cost.)Sounds like a yummy lunch to me!

Anonymous said...

Hey you should know by now that I never need vacation time. I can do the "Steady Eddie" thing forever. I love challenging these soft fu--s. That would be you all on the 2nd floor. Take a shot at me. Then stand behind that shot. I doubt it!

Anonymous said...

Big Cheese rocks.

Anonymous said...

Wheres Barb Lloyd?
Please help.

Anonymous said...

Please help Barb when she is found? Or help you find her? I will not participate either way.