Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The high price of eating dirty cookies.

Imagine that you are a child and your mother gives you a dollar to buy a cookie. When you go to the store, the cashier convinces you that the tastiest cookie is actually the smallest and looks a little dirty.

"Not to worry", says the cashier, "Those are just chocolate sprinkles."

You then ask why the cookie costs a dollar when the sign clearly displays the price as 25 cents.

"Oh, that is the price for 1/4th of a cookie. The entire cookie costs one dollar."

You then give the cashier your mother's dollar and take the dirty-looking cookie home.

As you get closer and closer to your home, you start feeling uncomfortable about the cookie you just bought. You start panicking a little about what your mother might say about spending a whole dollar for the dirty little cookie. You decide to avoid any potential problem with your mother's opinion of the cookie and just shove the whole thing in your mouth.

When you get home, your mother is relaxing on the front stoop reading a romance novel. She lowers the book just long enough to ask about your cookie. Fortunately, you devoured the whole thing on your way home so there isn't anything for your mother to evaluate. She now has to rely upon your description.

"It was delicious. It was the perfect cookie. I know that you trusted me to buy a great cookie with the dollar you gave me and I did exactly that."

Unfortunately, a few hours later you develop an extreme case of botulism, slip into a coma and become hospitalized, your immune system weakens and you become infected with flesh-eating bacteria.

Fortunately for you, death is impossible.

Hint: You are the Edmonds School District. Your mother is the taxpaying public. The cookie is the new adminstration site.


Anonymous said...

This really makes me feel like tossing my cookies. Doesn't it make you feel like it too?

Anonymous said...

I think the mother would be more properly depicted as morbidly obese and crippled by diabetes.

Instead of reading, she would be gazing at television watching re-runs of "Friends". Drool flows from her collagen-injected lips and into the half-eaten box of Twinkies sitting in what remains of her lap.

Anonymous said...

I think the mother would be watching "Finding Nemo" or looking at a video of "West Side Story"--remember these were the recommendations of two of our school board members when interviewed on public access TV last fall.