Mr. Sulu, reverse course. Warp factor eight.

To all ESC employees:

After a re-evaluation of the plans for the key audit, the scheduled audit for Monday and Tuesday Jan 14th and 15th has been changed. In order to facilitate a more expedient audit, we will not be asking employees to meet in the ESC lobby. Instead, please be prepared to present your keys, as we come to each of you beginning Monday January 14th and through the week, in order to update our records. This will better provide the time necessary for each employee. In addition, we have had several employees bring in many old keys, and we want to encourage everyone to do this- let’s make a fresh start for the New Year!

Thank you for you flexibility and cooperation.

I have a question. What would happen if I somehow found a complete set of records of all ESC staff and the keys they possess? Would the District accuse me of stealing these records? Would the District claim that these records belong to the District and I had no right to retain them? What if I said that I actually never possessed them but buried them on a publicly accessible server in case hard drives were struck by lightning. You know, in case Marla walked by my former desk and God tried to strike her down with a bolt from above.

Of course, the District should have found a complete database of such records when they poured through my former hard drive. Everything is there already. All a person would have to do is print up the list and then verify that the keys are still with the same people. In fact, as I mentioned before, there is a hard copy in the vault. It's the room that seems to be left unlocked and open from time to time.

Just trying to be helpful.